6 Helpful Tips on How to Accept Criticism

Criticism can be divided into different levels. Sometimes it is only a fleeting and innocuous comment. In other cases, criticism affects things that you truly love. And it is very difficult to cope with such statements. So, you should learn how to take criticism in stride. The development of “immunity” to critical comments takes some time, but this task cannot be called impossible. There are 6 useful tips that will help you to accept criticism.

  1. Recognize your self-doubt

Criticism is able to unbalance you only when it is aimed at something that already makes you feel insecure. Think about what you want to improve in yourself and your lifestyle. As soon as you have a clear plan to overcome self-doubt, you begin to deal with criticism much easier. Self-doubt is related solely to the characteristics of your personality. For example, imagine that you want to become more sociable within a workspace. Feel free to talk with someone at the coffee maker or go out to lunch together. Yes, the first steps are likely to be hard for you. But the more you practice, the more self-confident you become.

  • Learn to accept changes

It is difficult to imagine personal development without any life changes. These changes can be intimidating, especially when you have already reached a state of comfort. You should learn to accept a change by recognizing the fact that the need to work on certain aspects of your life does not make you less successful in other things that you already do well.

  • Remember your achievements

Strong criticism can overshadow everything that you are truly proud of. Therefore, a great way to deal with the negative effect of criticism is to remind yourself of your past achievements. If you hear criticism, think about what has changed since the moment when someone said such words to you for the last time. Have you worked on your weaknesses? Consider the changes that have been achieved during this time and praise yourself.

  • Appreciate honesty

There are people who have learned to ignore criticism completely, but it often prevents them from becoming better at what they do. Objective criticism helps you to get honest information about yourself that can be a trigger for positive changes in your life. Yes, criticisms can be painful, but if you learn to appreciate the honesty that lies behind constructive criticism, it can help you to become less sensitive to critical comments in the long run. Moreover, honesty is very useful for creating romantic relationships on foreign ladies dating site as it strengthens the trust and love between partners.

  • Create goals based on critical comments

What are your current life goals? Can criticism help you to achieve these goals or even set new ones? Use criticism as a basis for creating interesting goals that you may not even have thought about before. Analyzing critical comments is a great way to look at yourself from a different point of view, change perspectives, and find new opportunities for personal growth.

  • Change your attitude

The next time you find yourself in a situation involving criticism, try not to be nervous. Breathe calmly and watch your thoughts. Make an effort to keep a positive outlook and use critical comments to achieve new goals. Do not forget that a person who criticizes you most likely just does his job, so do not take it as a personal insult. Not everyone can easily cope with negative remarks, even if they are constructive and relevant. Your task is to learn to deal with criticism, using the right techniques and making the appropriate conclusions.

5 Tips on How to Overcome Difficulties in the First Year of Marriage

In most cases, the first year of marriage is the most difficult. Even if a couple has been dating over the years and knows all the strengths and weaknesses of each other, it does not guarantee the absence of serious problems after the wedding planning checklist. What is the cause? Now you have officially tied the knot and moved to a completely new level of relations. The stakes have become much higher, and each problem is perceived much more seriously than before. But there is good news, any relationship is hard work, so if you are willing to make efforts, then no difficulties will prevent you from building a happy family.

Give yourself time to get used to the new role

Permanency is a concept that can easily cause a feeling of depression, especially for the current generation who are used to the constant changes. Every day we face new information and opportunities: clothes, gadgets, books, job offers, and creative projects. When you get used to such freedom, permanency begins to seem burdensome. But this is not the case. Instead of perceiving the idea of the​​ permanency of marriage life as a burden, keep your mind on the present. You do not know whether you will spend the rest of your life with this person, but this fact should not prevent you from savoring the moment.

Stay away from social networks after a quarrel with a loved one

Do not allow the ideal love stories from social networks to rub salt into the wound. Marriage becomes even more complicated when you are constantly bombarded with posts about universal happiness and the perfect life of others. When, after a quarrel, you see the photos of your peers saying “look at us, we are incredibly happy together,” it becomes additional stress that can further aggravate the problem in your relations. However, you should never forget that Instagram is just a window dressing that hides a lot of real problems, most of which are much more serious than yours. Do not allow idealistic social media images to influence your feelings and romantic relationships.

Change perspective

Self-analysis is a useful practice that allows you to look at the situation from a different angle and come to balanced conclusions. Ask yourself the following questions and try to answer them honestly. Have you made an effort to listen to your spouse carefully? Do you think he feels heard and understood? Take a look at the situation from the point of view of your loved one. It does not mean that you should forget about your own feelings, they are also important for mutual understanding. Just try to get rid of such unnecessary emotions as anger, resentment, and unreasonable jealousy. Solve a problem critically, without exaggerating the guilt of a partner or minimizing your own.

Speak your mind

When people say only what others want to hear, it often leads to serious problems, especially in romantic relationships. Expressing your point of view, try to make it as clear as possible. Speak not only about your emotions but also intentions. In a healthy relationship, the actions of a person should not harm his partner. And in order to avoid this, it is necessary to discuss problems openly and look for compromises that satisfy the interests of each of the parties.

Help each other to blossom out

Growth and development are important conditions for building a successful relationship. You should help each other to overcome difficulties, both in personal and professional life. Nothing encourages as much as the support of a loved one!


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Is Motherhood a Sacrifice or a Privilege?

In my recent Sunday Review piece, I addressed the question of whether motherhood is a sacrifice or a privilege, whether it is selfless or selfish. I made the argument that we would go a long way to empowering women and mothers by reframing the way we think and talk about mothers by refusing the badge of martyrdom and by heeding the language we use when we talk about motherhood. By insisting on calling motherhood a selfless sacrifice, we take agency away from her.

The responses have been varied and illuminating from all sides of the argument. Most of the men and women who have reached out to me personally have been supportive and grateful for pointing out that raising children is a joy and privilege for both men and women. I’ve received an outpouring of support from women who particularly relate to my point about the way in which mothers become the purview of the public, which feels it has the right to dictate what a mother should and should do or be and how she should or shouldn’t raise her children. This is true for women in every socioeconomic status.CreditVivienne Flesher

Clearly, the piece rankled some. One friend said, “You are the only person I know who can throw elbows to the right and the left at the same time!” This made me laugh out loud because I wrote the piece with no politics whatsoever in mind.

Many of the critics point out — rightfully — that I am writing from a place of privilege and therefore project that privilege on the subject of motherhood. Commenters also asked why I didn’t address the issue of lack of support for single mothers and or for those without access to birth control. The abuses that women around the world sustain is unquestionably a more urgent problem that concerns us all. My piece was necessarily focused on a finer point only because all of these issues deserve more attention than I can address in my original short essay.

This comment by Janice Nelson captures another facet of the kind of hardships faced by women in general, and not necessarily mothers:

I love being a mom. I sacrificed nothing. The joy it has brought my life is unbounded.

But I will say this: as a nurse working in Homecare/Hospice, women do sacrifice the most when caregiving is needed. I am not talking raising children like this article alludes to, but managing to care for chronically ill children and aging parents, and many times both at the same time. I see this over and over, almost daily in the course of my work. These women sacrifice their jobs, their health, their own well-being to become caretaker. Our society is not set up, including Medicare, to offer help. They often go it alone. Many times silently. They do not take weeks at a beachouse or even a short respite to dine with friends…

I would not argue with the fact that I have had great fortune, but I do not mention hardships in my own life because they are not relevant to the point, even though some of the issues mentioned above are not outside the realm of my personal experience. I do write from what I would agree is a privileged place, as it is the only one I feel the right to write about.

Understandably, for those mothers who became mothers not by choice, and for those who lack a support system to help them, the notion of mothering as a self-directed privilege would be far from their reality. But I strongly believe that the language we use and the stories we tell ourselves can be very powerful — for better and for worse. And the language of powerlessness, sacrifice and selflessness helps to keep women in a disempowered place. I agree wholeheartedly that there are not enough policies in our country to support those who can’t afford it themselves. But I hoped that by shedding light on the language we use, it would contribute in some small way to forging better policies. This has further implications in a point I make below about artificial intelligence. The comments about what one reader, ae, called “false dichotomies” bring up a good point. This one rings loud and clear:

Why can’t motherhood be both a sacrifice and a privilege? A job and a choice? Selfish and generous? We don’t expect truth to be so black and white in other areas of our lives….

Why can’t motherhood — parenthood, for that matter — just be a part of life’s choices? It should be socially supported — because parents are raising the next generation, and we all benefit from that — but let’s leave out the false dichotomies and just let women live their lives.

I agree that duality thinking is the cause of so much dissonance, and I take the criticism to heart. I do not mean to encourage reductive thinking — that we are either only selfish or only selfless — since life is so much more nuanced than to classify experience as only one thing and not another. However, I do believe that women are held to different implicit cultural biases and vernacular corollaries and my point was meant to express how important it is to be aware of these complacent tags we put on women and mothers.

Part of what inspired my essay was a study I read about how artificial intelligence is learning from our use of language and programming itself with inherent biases. So, for example, “women” and “family” are closely correlated on the one hand, and “men” and “career” are as well. These biases exist for racial issues as well (but with different tags). As more and more of our lives are driven by automation cued by bots watching and listening to everything we do, these biases only get stronger. The way we are targeted as consumers, future social policies, job searches and fulfillment, education — all of this will be influenced in some way by AI. I bang on about language where it counts the most because it reflects back on us in ways that are not always obvious.

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In my original article, I defined “sacrifice” to explain why I take issue with it as a go-to qualifier for what motherhood is: The assertion of motherhood as sacrifice comes with a perceived glorification. A woman is expected to sacrifice her time, ambition and sense of self to a higher purpose, one more worthy than her own individual identity. This leaves a vacuum in the place of her value, one that others rush to fill.

Further to the point about how women are held to a different, tougher standard than the men who love or hate us — whether she is a writer, a mother, or a woman who is neither of these things — kas nailed it:

I love this. As a young mother, I always try to reject the martyr hat.

Yes, as others point out below, this writer is coming from a position of privilege. OK, so what? This is a common refrain now. Does the fact that a writer’s POV not apply to every person in existence somehow nullify their experience? These commenters always come out of the woodwork in pieces relating to women, too. If this were a piece about upper middle class fathers trying to take advantage of parental paid leave, or something like that, no one would be griping about privilege.

For those who remain frustrated by what may be conceived as my privileged optimism, I would like to share a thought. It was an Epictetus quote paraphrased, but I found it particularly meaningful because it was told to me by someone suffering from advanced amyotrophic lateral sclerosis, or Lou Gehrig’s disease, but whose spirit was not broken: “We cannot control what happens to us, but we can control our reaction to it.” The optimist in me believes, in turn, that our reactions to harmful biases can change what happens for the better.